We're Not Alone .

We're Not Alone .

When I was younger, it never really mattered to me about fitting in with the other kids. I had my friends, and they had me. I would play pretend and be happy like any normal child would be. Running around and having fun. I didn't care about the way my mother dressed me or what my hair looked like. It wasn't until I got to third grade that I liked picking out nice clothes by myself. I was still a child that didn't care if I fit in or not. When i was in fourth grade, I started being more open to my parents about who I had little crushes on and all those kiddy things. Now fifth grade was when thing really changed... I had friends on and off and lots of drama happened. Dont get me wrong, I'm actually never the one to start anything. I know alot of people say this alot because they dont want to take the blame for their own faults. But me, I will take responsibility for things I do wrong. Well, I ended up loosing my best friend for a little while to these stuck up girls. I didn't want to tell my mom about it though because I thought if I did she would think I was the one messing things up. I started thinking to myself "What am I going to do if I dont have my best friend?" Everything was messed up. Like I said before, I got my best friend back and everything went back to normal, or so I thought... Yay, middle school! Best two years of my life... I mean, if you consider getting a ton of homework and projects and loosing friends fun. It was too much for me to handle. Let's start from sixth grade first. I met alot of cool and fun people and gained alot of friends. Yes, things did change, well... some lifelong friends changed. (If if by now you're thinging "Why am i wasting my time reading about some depressed girl's sob story?" you're wrong. It will get better. I'm juss putting this out there because I know for a fact there are people like me that need advice. And so they know they're not alone. So if you're still interested in this, keep reading). Suddenly I felt like I couldn't trust many people as I could before. I met this girl, who I was certain would be my lifelong friend. But we would always be mad at each other on and off, and I did start thinking alot "Is she really my friend? And if she is, is she a good one that I can trust?" Seventh grade... Alot of the popular girls would make fun of almost everyone and -Im very much sure- about each other. Soo many awful things got to me. I'd be called soo many nasty names, and be judged on what i wore, how my hair was, what shoes I wore, the way I acted (I was very sweet, but I cried alot because of all the emotions inside of me). I personally think that nasty people like that have absolutely NO right to spread rumours, call names, and make other people's lives miserable. They did not have one single known fact in their minds about what troubles I went through at home. So going to school five days a week, having to deal with all that drama, made me feel like the weakest person in the world. Yes, i was depressed and I hurt myself and I did feel like I didn't want to live anymore. But I thought, "I can't afford to think like this. I still have a family that loves me with all their hearts don't I?" I talked to my mom about my issues and lots of things were fixed. Now, I just started eighth grade, and I guess it's safe to say I'm okay. Certain little things still get to me now and then. I know that there's always going to be some people that hate for probably the rest of my life. I think it's about how wise you choose to handle problems. Hurting and even death are not fixing anything, that's really making things alot worse. That's why I talked to my parents about what was going on with me. If you practically have no friends or family, all you have to do is listen to you're heart about the right choices. And I'm learning that no matter how bad it hurts, I have to keep fighting, and believing in myself. It doesn't matter how we look or act because we were made the way we are and NOTHING can change that... (:

- Ileana Huitron .